A Birthday Fit For An Angel

Sweet Jakey Boy, we miss you so very much! Three years ago today we were dressing you up in your 'coming home' outfit, which was covered in cute little monkeys and strapping you into your car seat for your first ever car ride home. As brand new parents we were so nervous, but yet, we were so excited to bring you home and show you all of your cuddly baby things. Your Daddy and I were still in disbelief that the perfect little boy [you] that we held in our arms was ours to keep.

It still doesn't seem fair that we only had such a short time with you -- not even 26 months. We miss you every single day and will never get over the fact that we don't get to watch you grow up. Our lives will never be the same without you, but we know without a shadow of a doubt that our lives are far better for having had you in it. The day you were born was the best day of our lives and we have relived those happy moments all week. We never imagined that a tiny little boy could bring such love and joy into our hearts.

This has been a very difficult week for your Daddy and I, but I don't really have to tell you this because we have felt your love surrounding us all week. We anticipated that this week would be very emotional for us, but we didn't want to focus on the sad reality of not being able to celebrate your birthday with you. Instead, we decided to celebrate you by seeking out kind and loving gestures for others and by living in the moment; just doing something that brings us and those you love, JOY. All of our family, friends and blog followers joined in on the fun!!

We spent all the time and money that we would have otherwise spent planning a super fun, three-year-old themed birthday party and used it to spread JOY to others! It turns out that it was the absolute most perfect way to celebrate you and we know that you enJOYed every minute of it!

We received little notes and pictures all week long via texts, e-mails, Facebook messages, and Instagram pics. There were so, so many random acts of kindness and 'pay it forwards' in your honor -- meals purchased; clothes donated; park clean-ups; bridge tolls paid; special surprises for elderly people; blood donations; a birthday party thrown in your honor at a local pre-school; goodies baked for NICU nurses; shoes donated to recycle into playgrounds for kiddos; supplies donated to animal shelters...this list goes on and on.

Your Daddy and I completed quite a list of joy-filled acts in your honor. I'll have to admit, I found myself looking for even more things to do because it brought us so much joy to share about your life, while doing kind things for others. I just have to share a few of my favorites...

A night out to a random mom, which was left on her car while she picked her child up from school

Live lady bug release for you on your birthday

A donation to Children's Hospital Oakland, which came with this sweet picture that a child drew of a ladybug. I think this was a true sign that you were enJOYing all the love being given in your honor.

Special thanks to whoever left this thoughtful birthday package on our front doorstep, which amongst other goodies included a birthday hat for you and a donation of books to the local library. It was a great surprise!

This e-mail made my entire week! I had bought several strangers some coffee one morning and added a wrist band to each coffee. One of the recipients went to your blog and took the time to write the most touching e-mail. It validated that even the littlest gesture of kindness can bring such joy. You continue to amaze me little man...just look at the impact you continue to have.

On your actual birthday Daddy, Kelly and I went to Toys R' Us and filled a cart with toys and books to be donated to Children's Hospital. We picked toys we think you would have liked and ones we know will help bring joy to other special kiddos like you

No birthday would be complete without decorations, cake and a little ice cream, so we made sure to pick all the best for you! 

Daddy had a custom arrangement made to wrap around your headstone. We even went down to the florist with a detailed plan and picked every flower specially for you.

We tied blue ribbons to the trees, which blew perfectly with the breeze

Kelly loved your birthday balloons so much and was waving to them as we set everything up perfectly for your special day. I think her favorite part was singing 'happy birthday' to you...



We decorated your bench with balloons and birthday goodies for all passerby's to see. We even left wrist bands to share with others the joy that you brought into our lives. Grandpa Dennis planted some flowers around your tree too.

 



A birthday lunch and a little crème brulee {your favorite} to kick off your day. I think your sister likes it almost as much as you did!

 

Our immediate family came over to our house on the night of your birthday. We wanted to be with those who loved you most and share the gift of time. Our hearts are all still so broken and I think being together helps to take away some of the pain. It helped Daddy and I immensely just to have everyone by our sides.

No party is complete without a theme, so we went with SpongeBob since you used to love watching the cartoon with your Daddy. I was never a big fan, but you loved it! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea anyway?

Well, my angel...we really hope you had a very special heavenly birthday. Your Daddy and I would give anything to hold you in our arms again. We miss snuggling you and looking into your big brown eyes, which truly were windows to your gentle soul. You could tell us with a simple glance what you were thinking and how you were feeling. You didn't need words or sounds to deliver your messages...you still don't. We're so proud to be your Momma and Daddy. Love you forever and sweet dreams little man.