A few weeks ago, the mother of another precious angel who passed away from Niemann-Pick had wrote something on her blog about how she has dreamed of her son. Since reading that blog post, I couldn't stop thinking about my own dreams. Honestly, this is something that I've thought about for four long months - since November 15th to be exact. I simply can't recall having a dream with Jacob in it since he earned his angel wings. But, why??? I miss Jakey so very much and think about him all the time, but why haven't I dreamed about him. Surely, I would have remembered dreaming of his sweet face.
I started doing a little research (okay, I Googled it) and read quite a bit about dreams. I'm not going to get into all of what I read, because after all, you can't believe everything you read on the Internet, right? For now, I feel (for the most part) at peace knowing that I am getting a glimpse of my little angel in other ways. Time after time again, our little man sends signs that he's looking over us -- just when we need them most.
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| A little bit of Heaven shining down for me to see tonight -- beautiful streak of rainbow sky |
On Sunday, Josh, Kelly and I went to visit Jakey. Right before we left, Josh told me "you have a visitor," and picked up a little ladybug who had flown onto my shoulder. Now, we've all heard that ladybugs are good luck, but I can prove it!
A few days before Jacob was born a ladybug flew onto my great big baby belly, which I thought [at the time] to be a very good sign. After Jake was born, we used to read him one of his favorite books On the Night You Were Born, which had references to ladybugs...so again, I felt the significance of the ladybug. Shortly after Jake had his G-tube surgery, we took him for a little swim on Father's Day and while sleeping in the pool in Josh's arms (yes, he was very tired) a little ladybug wandered around on his hat. It would seem that we had lots of luck coming our way!
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| On the Night You Were Born...one of the reasons why ladybugs make me smile : ) |
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| Can you spot the ladybug on Jakey's hat? It's right on the brim of his hat above his left eye. |
Some people believe that when a ladybug lands on an object, that object will be replaced by a new and improved version. I've also heard that if a ladybug lands on you when you are ill, it will take away the illness. Maybe, in some way these things are true because Jacob is no longer suffering from his illness and is free of the pain; no doubt an angel in Heaven. Now, I have mixed emotions about the "lucky" part. I do know how lucky I am to be the momma of the most precious boy I've ever known. Jacob has been my greatest teacher in life and I love him more than words could ever express!
I believe our angels come to us in the manner and at the time we need them the most. The ladybug, the rainbow - are all little ways Jakey is there for you. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteNow every time I see a lady bug I will think of little jake. Thank you for sharing this sarah ... It is just a beautifully written blog. Jakey will come to you in your dreams too, I just know it. We all miss jake and I am so sorry you have to fill this kind of sadness. Lots of love xoxo
ReplyDeleteI, too, believe that our loved ones send us signs that they are watching over us and reminding us that just as our love for them will never end, theirs for us is also eternal. I love what Shannon said! :) I was thinking the same thing as I read the post. Ladybugs will always mean "Jake" to me. I so wish there was a way to take away your sadness, Sarah. Sending you and your family much love. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI love this and will also think of a Jake when I see a lady bug too. What a precious little boy to share with you in that way. I agree with Shannon, he will come to you in your dreams too. I did not dream about Trek for about 3-4 months either and I was so sad. Even since then I have only had 10 dreams of him. When you do it will be so special. sending you so much love, Chelsea
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