Today marks exactly one month since Jacob passed away. It has been an extremely difficult and emotional month for us, especially today. We took time earlier today to go visit Jake and brought a Christmas tree to Queen of Heaven Cemetery (innocents area), which we decorated specially for him. It was one small way that we could celebrate with Jake even though he's no longer here with us. We also welcome any family and friends to visit Jake and add an ornament to his tree.
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| A special tree for Jacob |
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| The perfect ornament for a perfect boy |
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While everyone else seems to be busy with holiday preparations, we're trying to get into
the spirit, but it's just not the same without Jake. Holidays really are incredibly difficult when you're forced to celebrate without the one(s) you love most. I never really noticed until now, but even Christmas music is harsh reminder of the reality that the holidays just aren't the same...."they're singing deck the halls, but it's not like Christmas at all" and "I'll have a blue Christmas without you, I'll be so blue just thinking about you." For now, we're trying our best and even took the time to decorate a tree at our home, so that Kelly could have a special first Christmas.
In my mind and in my heart, I know that Jake is watching over us. Earlier this week I had a particularly rough day and was missing Jake a lot. Just when I was reaching into my purse for some tissue, I found a small jingle bell. I have absolutely no idea how it could have gotten into my purse since I haven't been out of the house much since Kelly was born and we hadn't yet pulled out our Christmas decorations. I know many people look for signs after the passing of their loved ones
and we've seen several, most of which we have not really shared. That jingle bell was something special that I needed in that very moment.
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| This was the first ornament that we hung on our tree at home. It's an angel from Jake's godparents that says "Forever Our Angel Jakey Boy" | |
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What an Honor being with you, Josh & Kelly Yesterday Creating a "Christmas Tree of Pure Love" for Jakey ~ So Unreal to be Doing this for Our Favorite Little Man ~ But in those Moments, I could feel so much Love & Appreciation for Everyone who has Loved Jake, So very Much <3 The Kindess & Compassion in both of the the womens faces w Smiles as they greeted us yesterday as we decorated Jake's Christmas tree <3 I LOVE You All, With All of My Heart. Grammie Kathy
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how hard it is for you during this holiday seasons without your precious Jacob. I strongly believe that people's soul will live forever after they die. When I have a hard time, I can feel my grandma and uncle are there to protect me. I am sure that the jingle bell was the massage from Jacob....mom, don't be sad, I am right here with you...
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes to you and your family.
With love, Mika ( Kathy and Tricia ' friend)
oh sweet Sarah, my heart is breaking for you today. I understand, I just told Jarrett today how so many times I want to crawl into bed and give up for the day, but then I see Peyton and Conner and know they deserve the best of me. This is so hard, I am so sorry you feel the same pain. Sending all my love to your mama heart. xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh dear, dear Sarah. Such sadness. You were so on my mind yesterday. My heart aches for you at the same time I rejoice in your blessings. Sending you much love and many hugs as you and Josh make your way through another first. And Jake continues to amaze and inspire as he sent that jingly hug just when you needed it most. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteYou have all been in my thoughts, prayers and heart. Every day.
ReplyDeleteSuch sadness over losing Jacob, yet such joy with the arrival of Kelly Joy... You are so right, in that life goes on...the holidays are here. But they have been altered forever.
I lost my sweet Grama earlier this year, so this will mark our first Christmas without her. And while I feel so very blessed to have had her in my life for such a long time, I feel so sad that you didn't have long at all with your sweet little man. It's just so unfair. But I know that regardless of the length of time we got to have them in our lives, these special angels brought to us love and joy that will last us a lifetime and beyond.
I send my continued prayers for strength and courage as you all find your way.
Dearest Sarah and Josh,
ReplyDeleteAgain I feel so blessed to know you. Your expressions of love and stories of faith continue to strengthen my faith in God-yet another blessing Jakey boy has brought. My prayers for comfort, strength and peace are with you andJosh as you move forward through all of the "firsts" without Jake, while all of the firsts with Kelly. I miss you! XOXO
You have seen that Jake is there with you, and when you need it the most, there will be a sign - just like the bell. Kelly will not remember this Christmas, but when you look back in many years, I hope that the memories will give you joy in this difficult season. Sending love and hugs to all of you.
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