It's still difficult to accept the fact that your Dad and I will never get to watch you grow up. The most wondrous chapter in our lives was cut far too short. There are nights when I look into my arms to see your sister, Kamryn snuggled against me and I can recall so vividly when it was your sweet little face nuzzled into my chest. Holding you, I had everything I ever needed in life. I sometimes have to remind myself of how fortunate I am. Fortunate, because most people only dream of angels, but I got to hold one in my arms. I am blessed to be your momma - always have been, always will be.
Some days it feels like a broken dream, where you're not quite sure if it all really happened...then reality sets in. So much has happened in the past two years. It's often surreal to think about how much has changed. My life feels completely different without you here. It is different. So. Very. Different.
Priorities have changed, perspectives have shifted and I have two beautiful daughters (my "little man" has two little sisters). Your Dad and I have been able to experience so many of the 'firsts' that we were robbed of with you (e.g. words, steps) and tried our best to celebrate many firsts without you (holidays have been the most difficult). Little by little I have begun to let go of the fear and worry that your sister's firsts will be their lasts. In fact, I resigned from my job so that I could be at home to enJOY all of the momentous firsts that are still to come. Time and presence are two things that I value so much more because of you my sweet boy.
Our life with you just seems like it was so long ago, yet you're still a part of our everyday lives; in our thoughts and with JOY in our hearts always.We know your love surrounds us and that you watch over us too. Two years was far too short of a time to have with you, but it was too wonderful to ever forget. You will forever be our two-year-old little boy whom we love beyond measure.
|One of your first real smiles : )|
|I miss your snugly little self and how much you loved your 'Ele'(phant).|
|That face...so adorable.|
|Missing these moments.|